Hi there. I’ve been through a lot in my life, but I’d say that the hardest thing I had to deal with, (while growing up) was the verbal, mental and emotional abuse from my father. He has abused me up to the very point where I am left with emotional scars that will never heal.
First off I want to say that I am currently living in a single parent household, and it’s my mother who has been raising my four younger brothers and me for the past 4-5 years ever since she and my father got divorced in 2013. But if I were to get technical than my mom has been the main parent who has been raising my brothers and me, since the very first day she had us in her arms. She’s been raising me even before she adopted me and my adoptive father, wasn’t really the father he was supposed to be.
My dad wasn’t really the fatherly figure that he should have been. He was there in person and he supported the family financially, but he never did anything with his kids or really loved us like a average father should have. Ever since I was old enough to understand what love meant I never really considered him as my father. But do I blame him for what he has done to me, no, but will I be able to forget what he did, no not even by a slight chance.
You see, he verbally, emotionally, and mentally abused me 24/7 up until the point I had to live with him always belittling me, telling me I was worthless, I wasn’t loved, that I’ll never get anywhere in life, etc and every day I have to hear him say these things to me over and over again. But everyday I tried to gain his approval and affection, but he never showed it or said ‘I love you.’ Then after my parents got divorced in 2013 his entire demeanor changed. He started acting like the nicest person ever, and it was like everything he said and done to me and my brothers up to the point in time, never happened. So I waited for his apology but in the back of my mind I know it’ll never come. So after a few years of hating him, I decided to forgive him. But I can never truly forgive him for what he put me and my brothers through.
I know this may not seem like a big deal, but for a young girl to hear her father say this stuff to her repeatedly making her feel like she did something wrong to make her father hate her. But as I got older, I couldn’t quite understand why he was saying those things to me, and what I had done wrong to make him dislike me. But now that he’s been gone for about 5 years I have finally realized that it was never my fault for the way he acted but it was something within him that made him act the way he did.
My goal for writing this to you guys it to say that I have been through the abuse and I survived it. But I am left with emotional scars that my father left on me, and these scars will probably never go away. All those words he said to me left me thinking that I was worthless, left me with a low self-esteem, he made it hard for me to trust other people about my feelings and most importantly, it made it hard for me to trust people all together.
But I have slowly overcome this struggle of learning to trust people, to stop thinking about how I’m worthless, how I’m not loved, etc, because I have an amazing mother who has always been there for me and has always given her all to care, love and to support me. Without her I probably wouldn’t have the confidence that I have today to talk to people and make friends with strangers. My mother has always been there since day one, and she has never left her children’s sides. Through thick and thin she’s been there, doing her best to raise five kids by herself.
Most importantly I want you guys to know that verbal abuse is not okay! It doesn’t make you a better person and all you’re doing is tearing apart your relationship with that person you’re verbally abusing. It doesn’t matter what the situation is, because you can control your mouth and whatever comes out of it. Once you say something hurtful it’ll stick with that person for the rest of their lives. So is it worth it to lose a relationship with your family members or a best friend over something stupid? You have to power to keep your mouth shut. So think before you speak. Verbal abuse hurts a lot more than physical abuse, (or at least that’s what I think.) You can overcome the pain of physical abuse but you really can’t get over the pain of verbal abuse.
So my advice for you, just keep your mouth shut and if you have to, walk away and come back later and talk to that person about the situation that had occurred between the two of you. I hope you learned a little something my ordeal with dealing with verbal abuse and how you can overcome it. If you ever need someone to talk to or to just listen to your story I’m here for you. Just shoot me an email or leave a comment below, and I’ll get back to you as soon as I can.